For Good Lords Sake

So last night the boys are brushing their teeth, and for some unknown reason they always have to fight when they brush their teeth. (which is why I have now made a rule that only one at a time in the bathroom) But my story is that Zaelur and Kyler were fighting so it just annoys me because it's 8 p.m. I'm tired and just can you not just brush your freaking teeth and get it done !??!


Anyways. I go into the bathroom and here Zae is like half in the toilet (haha) and half on the bathtub. And Kyler has the shoot.. it's the lid to the top of the toilet where the handle and all is. (I hope this is making sense)But it's not the lid to the seat but the upper part. So I grab it from him and notice Zae's nose is bleeding so I not meaning to but apparently slammed down that lid and it broke in which it cuts my thumb up big time. And all I can think is SERIOUSLY????


I don't get my bad luck lately. I honestly think I have this dark cloud following me around none stop. It's like if there's a chance for something wrong to happen.. it's going to happen.



Like okay I'm not going to say exactly what happened after Thanksgiving.. but that was hell.


Then Zaelur takes off with my drivers license .. which I really don't want to go back to the DMV to pay another $30 or so for a new license, specially since I know that it's somewhere in the house.


I keep forgetting shit. Like what to do or where to go. It's like I need sticky notes throughout the house so that I can remember what to do next.





I just feel like I'm in this hole, trying to climb out and keep getting pushed back in. I keep thinking I'm reaching for the sky and instead I can't ever seem to even touch it. I know the saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side' but I just want a little bit of green.. just some .. something.






Well back to my thumb.. this is what Ed says:
'what are you going to do now you can't purge.. it'll hurt. Oh nevermind that's okay it'll hurt but it'll hurt more if you eat and let it stay in you'

And because I am with Ed so much all I can think is 'ya'. I know that's irrational. I do .. I get that, but with that being said it has been my life. It's what I know. =(

Maybe one day I'll be able to go back through this and know that person but be another healthy better person. Maybe one day.