Tomorrow

So I mentioned it before in another blog that you always go tomorrow I'll do it or I'll do it this day.

I honestly usually have to do that. It's like I have to prep myself so that I can handle it.

Well, I've been shooting for Monday. For a couple reasons, one is I have my t appt on Friday in which I'm going to have to tell her that I haven't been even trying to control Ed. Two I have my doctors appt, in which I'll have to be honest again:) yay.. and three is I have my class on Sunday so I don't want to be acting like a fool. And yet I feel if I'm not in my Ed I'll be acting like a fool.

But, now I'm not sure what I'm going to do. See with me if something happens I usually revert into Ed even deeper. My something was just another fight with my husband. I really don't even understand it.. how or what it happened. All I do know is that I really had nothing to do with it. For some reason he got upset and took it out on me.

What pissed me off more was of course the next day he was like what did you do? You had to of done something for me to get all upset. Umm.. NO! I just said ya got the memo .. It's ALL MY FAULT! I had to of done something .. got it!

So where does that leave me?

It's easy .. No nm it's not easy. With a normal week it would be an easy decision. This week. I'm not sure anymore. I definitely know it's easy for today. I know I'll stay with Ed one more day. I already planned that. Tomorrow is going to be the hardest day. Because I know I'll want to stay with Ed but I will also want to give up Ed so that I can get healthy and better and be able to function again.

Like I do give Ed way to much power. I allow him to be there when things go wrong. It doesn't even matter what it is .. it could be the simplest thing that goes wrong and Hello Ed:) Your always my fall guy.

Hopefully tomorrow .. hopefully.