I know.. I need to learn

I honestly don't think I have like an anger problem. But I definitely have a problem when I'm pushed to the limit.

I just don't get why you can't just back off for a bit. Please just STOP! I feel like I'm almost in like this trap. I can't get out because every time I try to crawl out it's like I'm being pushed back into this hole.

I really then can't control myself almost. I mean I don't think I do anything harmful. I threaten a lot, but actual punishment.. not so much. I will slap butts but most of the time I believe in just time outs.

Only problem is lately I feel helpless. I can't control my Ed I can't control anyone in my life.. I mean I don't want to control them but I just wished that they would stop being this way to me. It's like they are railroading me and just making me feel more like worthless shit. And I'm just .. I just can't do it.

I just wished someone would see how sad I am. And helpless and just lost. Instead it's just like I get bombarded in every direction that can possibly be.

Guess I just need to learn IT IS WHAT IT IS.