Just pissie

Okay so I might go into Ed related.. and maybe it's Ed related to or maybe he just has his sneaky way of coming into it to bother me more.

When I got married and don't get me wrong I love Tom. But I didn't get married to 'take after' another person. I was working about 50 to 60 hours a week and would have a list of what to do around the house, and yet when he had his 2 days off he wouldn't do sh*t and then tell me that he didn't know what needed to be done. Really if the clothes in the laundry basket are full.. I'm pretty sure they need to be washed. But I guess who would think of that. I mean really I guess it takes a lot of intelligence to figure that one out.

And to say the least .. the beginning of our relationship was really rocking. Not like we still don't have problems. But in the start he lied to me. Which just hurt even more because for some reason I trusted him from the get go. I opened up to him .. told him things that it usually takes awhile for others to have ever know. But I asked him to never lie to me. That was the one thing.. just don't lie. Honestly, I don't know why I forgave him. I don't know why I just didn't turn the other way and run. Mainly because it wasn't one lie two lies.. it was lies.

It's just frustrating because I had to take care of myself. I had a baby, I was in college, I tried back out for the volleyball team (since I had to give up my scholarship because I got pregnant) but I decided that I couldn't go to school, work, be a mother and then also play a game.

A game that I loved. The one that will make me cry when I think back. It sucks to know what I didn't do. And how things could have been so different, because of that sport. My life would have been changed.

But I did get a beautiful baby boy out of it.. so I shouldn't complain so much..

So, the whole reason why I pissed is because .. I don't think I should have to go thru Toms clothes to see if there's anything in his pockets. I don't really even feel like I should have to with the boys. I mean seriously .. I'm the one doing loads of laundry and putting it away, I think the ONE thing you can do is make sure you pockets are empty.

Well, Tom left chap stick in somewhere.. and anyways it ruined some of my clothes because I didn't realize the chap stick until after the dryer. I tried to get the red spots out but it won't work. And it's just like Thanks.. and then he's all like passive going oh we'll just get you another shirt.. really because I only had that one for years and finally I actually liked the way I looked in it.. but ya.. thanks for the thought.

And the boys keep taking my crap. Or else they will get on the computer and move all of my papers around. It's just like stop touching MY STUFF!!!!!! I just don't understand why you have to constantly move and rearrange my things and I don't bother with yours.

Or the constant pick up after everyone. It's just like I don't make you pick up after me. And again, I understand the boys.. well to a point. They do know that I expect them to pick up their clothes off the floor and their toys but some things I get. It's Tom that kills me. It took like 5 yrs for him to finally put his dirty clothes in the frickin basket. And still there are times where he won't. I've gotten to the point where I'll leave it and let him do it.

The other .. well month right now.. he had a glass that sat on our bathroom counter for 3 weeks. I would even take it off to clean off the counter to then put it back.

I am not a mother to you. You are an adult you can take care of yourself and clean up after yourself. I already buy all the fucking grocery, clean the damn house, take care of the kids (always taking care of the kids) .. GOD DAMN GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK ALREADY!

Well, okay.. I have to end. I have to just get shit out. Although I don't know how much it helps because I still am pissed=P

But Brayd has tryouts so I have to go, and then come back to do a deep search for my drivers license that Zaelur took off with.

I'm thinking I need to lock all my things up so that no one can get to them. Which just annoys me to even think of it. It's just like an invasion of privacy .. and I had to deal with that too much .. I can't stand it!