Ahhh

So I haven't been doing well at all. Last Friday my therapist wanted me to eat some, which I didn't do. She actually is going on vaca for the next few weeks so yep Ed jumped right in and was like well now you have a few weeks before you have to worry about fighting.

Then Tom the other night says lets do this together. Like he'll stop chewing and I'll start eating. It was like the wind got knocked out of me. This is how my life has been what will I be when it's no longer like that?!

I get it's Ed talking .. but ed's been there for so long with me that I think I depend more on him that I do Anyone else.




I know this is what I have to do. I have to believe and just throw my hands up and say that I believe in God and what he wants for me. I need to learn to listen and just Trust with every ounce of me and know that he is not going to lead me wrong.





But then again that's the hard part. Letting go. Trusting. Falling and knowing there's not a net. At least one that you can see.

I know I have to give it a try. I mean one way I could look at it is if it doesn't work I can always come back to this place. Ya.. not good outlook but it is one.

So I guess sometimes this week I'm going to try again. Hopefully I can get this under control and just be 'normal'.