If I could only shut my mind off!

So in a way it all worked out. It's nothing major that I'll have to go thru but it's still a lot of money. In one way, it's a $1000 punch.

I am glad for the most part it is over with but also that's when Ed jumps in and is like we'll now you can't move forward for another 6 months until this is all behind you. Then you can start working.

The last few months have been so hard on me. I am overly sensitive. I think every one is out to like damage me .. and Ed is the one talking each and every time.

When you've listen to Ed for so many years it's hard to think that there is something other there. I really just don't know.

I definitely see where people say 'well I'm not sick.. yet.. so I'm fine'. That's me right now. Plus too with the stress I don't know how else to handle it. People say blog, journal, breathing techniques, get outside. Ya .. it's not working. Just annoys me I guess. I tried and it failed it got me nowhere.

Well either nowhere or else that Ed is that strong. I know I know I know.. you of those who read this will be like ED! Idk =/

On a lighter note. I do like my pretend world. It's fun. I forget about all this crap I'm dealing with and I get to 'pretend' to be happy. Which I like to think I'm happy. Sad thing is, I should be happy. Not with what happened but with my husband and 3 boys. It just seems lately I find every reason in the world to be upset only to put myself in my pretend world. I know I sound crazy =P Maybe I am lol.