YAY!:)

Beach here comes my ass:) haha!!

I did pack foods that I was comfortable eating cause I really .. I can't describe it. I don't want to be questioned and I don't want to feel like I need to go purge it either. So I'm glad that I woke up this morning at 5 and maybe a .. no a lot tired I thought of taking the good foods. Now the test is if I actually eat them. :(  Only because I know the only things that are going to be close to eating are going to be like fast food and oh hell no! And the thing is too is that fast food has truly nothing to do with my Ed, it's just plain and simple that I don't like it. Nor have I ever. It tastes nasty!

Anyways, positive thoughts today:) Beach day. Although with a black eye it kinda sucks but hey move forward hah! I can not wait to be on vaca and hopefully just smile for once in a long time that isn't forced or because I am laughing but because I am actually just happy to have that moment. Which now makes me cry. God I'm such a cry baby. :P But seeing my kids laugh and smile cause they are having a great time just makes me feel like I am giving them something that I never had. And it's really rude to say that but it is also the truth. Most of my memories are with my friends.. which are not all bad or anything like that but just different if you get what I mean.

Well, I better finish packing up here and trying to repair this eye so that hopefully I don't get so many looks ?!?!? Please at least. Damn thing needs to heal!! But I'm looking forward to this weekend and just laying in the sun and just hearing laughing and hopefully no fighting, crap there it goes again with negative.. never ends! Flippin Ed! Always finds a reason or why.

Okay. Wish me luck on having a good vaca:) And shoot good with Ed. I don't like saying that really.. a.. but.. said it .. it's done. Um.. anyways. Done lol