Vaca Time

So to be honest .. well now that I'm back I'm disappointed. We ran around it seemed nearly every day until the last day was actually one of my favorite times. Just to be able to sit out in the sun and relax. Plus too it didn't help sleeping at night with Tom. That guy is a pain in the ass to sleep with. If it's not snoring I'm getting hit in the face with an elbow. So annoying!

But the kids had so much fun that you can't complain too much :) They were so excited and just had a good time. Zaelur was hilarious on how excited he was about everything. Including going on roller coasters.  He did have to hold onto me but standing in line he was just like OH YA. And afterwards he'd do the same. It was cute!

But here comes the neg. I was hoping that I would eat. And I did.. at times. But going and running really more allowed me to not eat. Plus to the food that they offer is just disgusting. They really need to come up with something better. Also, it upsets me because Tom knows I don't like hamburger and I don't like Pizza .. which is like what he can live off of.. yuck! But it's like what we have to look for to eat because he wants it. Sometimes I think I want a bite, yet as soon as I do I want to just vomit.

So heres the bigger deal. I leave in two days. And I know I'm going back more for the family, yet I also know that they are going to be watching me and my habits .. maybe calling me out maybe not. It's just frustrating to think of it tho. I keep trying to tell myself it's not til Friday don't stress about it now, and yet I can't help it.

The other problem I am having is that .. well I don't know if it is from hitting my head the other week or if it's because of Ed, but recently at night when I awake I can't see. Like at all. It's all black. And when I say black I mean black. I can't see figures or anything. I know I should go to the doctors but I really don't have the money and I'm just hoping it'll go away. The only thing is that my grandmother did go blind so I'm not sure if it's something that is running down the line or if it's just because of the hit on my head. I know I know.. stupid that I shouldn't just go to the doctors and find out .. which when I come back if that is the case I will go. Just right now I don't want to see a damn doctor. I don't like them. I didn't like them in South Dakota and I hate them even more here in Nevada! They truly suck!

It's just weird tho, because if I get up to go to the bathroom and as long as I turn on the light my vision comes back just fine. So I don't know if it's because of my black eye and the fact that I stayed inside for the last week, and then went out into the sun for 4 days that it caused this and my eye is just now adjusting, I mean it did do it the second day in Ca. but I figured it was just .. well not I didn't figure anything I didn't know what was going on. Just hopefully I'm stressing about nothing.

Well, wish me luck this weekend!!! I def. need some prayers!