Here I go again, Hello Ed

So I feel like I'm in the HUGE depression. All I want to do is cry and scream at ppl.

The 4th of July was just a busy day, but it wasn't just that. I was fine in the morning and going to my brother and sister in laws. Wasn't so thrilled about eating, but that's just how I'm getting now. But then I get to find out that my mother in law is saying shit about me. It was like WTF?!?!?!?!? I was pissed. To hear some of the things that both of my b-i-l and s-i-l were telling me that my m-i-l was saying was like huh.. its only coming from one place. Tom. Of course he denies it and saying she's just making up shit. Which on one hand their were things that was said that I know better because it wouldn't make sense, but other things ... ya it definitely came from him.

And it's just like why, just when I figured out to handle my mom for the most part.. and that's only taken me 31 years of my life, I'm also then dealing with Tom and figuring out our marriage and what to do .. now I have to have this as well. I'm like ready to just run away to some place, Idk, live in a box by myself.

I just don't get my m-i-l.. I have dealt with this crap of her saying some things for quite some time. Most of it tho has just always been really pity bullshit that upset me but not to this point. The things she is saying is complete lies. And thank god that both my b-i-l and s-i-l were saying that they knew it was Tom running to her and what not. His brother even said he was going to talk to Tom and his mom about it because it needed to stop. I really appreciate that! Really I do, but at the same time it's like it should be my husband standing up for me. Specially considering I told him about 4 years ago about things that were said to me when they were at my house.

Oh and get this my m-i-l comes over yesterday, in which I told Tom I was refusing to be around her right now because I was worried that my mouth would get the best of me and it was just better that I would act like I had to go upstairs for some reason. Well, he didn't answer the door, and not only one time did she come but twice and both times tried to open my door. It's like .. no.. you just don't go about opening ppls door. At least it's not okay with me anyways. I would never do that.

Well all it did was make me spiral, I hardly ate when we did eat, and even then I made sure to come back to the house so I could purge it. Since then it's been downhill. :(

Positive thing .. which has NOTHING to do with my eating.. well ah.. it will crap.. anyways not thinking about that right now. Positive thing, Going to DisneyLand:)  I can't wait to sit on the beach and by the pool and to actually *fingers crossed* *knock on wood* have a relaxing nice time .. so that I can come home and maybe not be in the complete hole that I feel I'm stuck in.But I will have to eat out there and that might be frustrating, I'm hoping that I can get Ed out of my head for at least moments .. hoping.. might be stupid but still hoping.