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So last night Brayden had his second baseball game.

Trying to keep all the points of it out, well I mean he played 2 innings and sat out for the last 2. Which he did for the same first game. I have to pay $$$$ for him to even be in the sport. Well guess what if you were going to tell me that I would pay and he was going to sit on the bench then I would have just said Forget It!

But Ed.. this is where my Ed does things .. says things.. He's not going to just sit by and do nothing. So I basically go grab Brayden. Well I asked him if he wanted to G to the O (Go) and he said yes. And the thing about it is I'm totally sport type of person that you Never leave your team. But I was pissed at the coach. Not just because Brayden was 'sitting' out but because it's the same kids and someone needed to put him in his place.

The supposed 'men' down here think that they control everything. And I'm prurty sure my Ed isn't going to let you control fucking anything!!!

Now am I proud of it. NO=/ Now I have to make things better for Brayden. I screwed things up for him and that wasn't my intent. He thankfully isn't upset but I am.

I don't know what to do anymore. I react with emotions to then be told to not react with emotions to then go to therapy to be told I need to get these emotions out. Fucking lost!

And then my mom was like have you done your anger management class? Yes I did. You really think 1 flipping class is going to get my emotions out enough that I'm not MAD????? And how do you not even see why I'm pissed? She has no clue. No responsibility right? I mean I'm a grown adult now so she's not responsibly for the crap she put me thru.

All I can do is shake my head.

Then she asked if I had been drinking. If I could have bitched slapped her I would have! Thanks again for just thinking shit of me. Thanks again for putting me into that hole that I was stuck in for my life. I get it. I know .. I fucking get it. You apparently don't like me and .. fine .. I get it..

I just don't know why I care anymore