Maybe ?!?!

Well, I'm not guaranteeing anything. And to be completely honest I'm scared half to death!

So we are going camping this weekend. Last year when we went was just in the beginning of my fight against Ed, so I was really tense the whole time and really worried about everything I ate. Even purged a couple times (which was really uncomfortable and I didn't like it at all). But I have this plan. I don't know if it'll work or not but I guess there's only one way to find out.

Okay so, I've decided that I will eat something while camping. Probably not a whole lot, but I will at least eat where as of lately I haven't. And then I'm well thinking/hoping/almost not thinking about it:) but that when I get home I'll continue with it.

I don't know .. obviously I don't know it hasn't happened hah. I just can't think that far ahead I guess. Cuz I'm worried that I'll freak myself out and then I can't or won't do it. Really it's won't because Ed will be too thick. 

I didn't stop seeing my doctor and therapist. Mainly because of money. Also, it wasn't seeming to change anything. I like to blog, but journaling really hasn't done much for me. Not sure if that's just because I'm not using it in the way that I should. I write down the way I feel but it still is there it doesn't change how I feel it just puts it down in words. 


Alright then, wish me luck. Here I go again. Well not til Thursday:)