Well I did decide that I would try to do things 'right' again. I would get my schedule and eat meals and snacks. I can't say that I eat everything that I put down but I have 2 days under my belt and I'm going to try moment moment for today. I'm not even thinking about dinner, just breakfast and snack might not happen.
I have such a weird appetite, that's it's like I can't just have anything and even then some of the meals I get so full on before I'm even half way done so then I usually just put it in the fridge to eat it for my snack. I figure it's better the nothing right now.
Monday night sucked too .. sleeping I mean. I couldn't relax at all and I had drank so much water I was up like every 1/2 hr going to the bathroom. Last night was a lot better, except around 8 p.m. I had the Ed urges of just go purge. So I am a bit worried that today is going to be hard, but we'll see. Just gotta keep one foot in front of the other.
What bothers me the most is that by mid-day I feel so frickin huge. I'm really hoping that it's just because of how much water I've already drank and that I'm just retaining it. I don't know. It's just a scary feeling.
I think the hardest parts for me is at night because during the day I can have really anything I want. But we have family dinners and so I do eat what the kids and Tom will, I just keep it very Very limited.
Well we'll see how things continue to go. Right now I'm just happy that I took the break that I did. I needed to get my head to stop constantly with this battle. Eventho I still thought about it, it was a different thinking. Kind of felt like I took a vacation, knowing when I came home I still had housework and the normal day things. So I believe it was what I needed.
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