Unsure

I have been really struggling. So much is going on.. I'm really truly sad but it doesn't seem to stop people from wanting to tear me into pieces. All I can think is okay you've accomplished it .. you destroyed me now just move on! So tired of crying.

I envy those who are happy .. I mean obviously they are not always happy .. cause who can be .. it's not a possibility. Just isn't:) But to go thru a day without a constant battle going on.. It would be so heavenly.

I was really bothered today. I apologized to my mom for yelling at her. Which I don't apologize why I did, I apologize because of how I handle the situation. Of course she has nothing nice to say. Not sure why I keep bothering.. Insanity!!!! Then I'm upset and Tom has to voice his opinion on shit. And it's like really buddy like you were that great to me?!?! His whole thing now is that he's changed. a... ya .. lets see how long it lasts and then we'll talk. Cause it's been almost 10 yrs and it's just recently changed since well like January when I got really sick. Other then that he didn't give a freaking fly's ass.

Well it's getting pretty late. I best try to sleep. Get some type of rest anyways.

Not sure where I go from here tho. Time will tell.